What's Forgiveness?

We all ‘know’ what forgiveness is, but we actually don’t.

If you think forgiving is forgetting, you’re wrong.

If you think forgiving is avoiding the topic, you’re wrong.

If you think forgiving is minimizing the seriousness of the offense, you’re wrong.

But there’s one thing we all can most certainly agree on: we all struggle with it. We struggle to ask for forgiveness and we struggle to give forgiveness.

Forgiving is hard because when we get hurt, we become resentful, and when we become resentful, we grow bitter.

Benjamin Franklin said: “Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.”

He was right, but I’d add that whatever remains in anger, remains in shame.

You’ve probably tried to forget, avoid the topic, or just say “it’s OK, it doesn’t matter” and move on, but deep in your heart, you know you’re still resentful.

When you’re resentful, you think you’re hurting the other person, but in reality, it hurts you more than anyone else.

Why is it so hard then?

• Because real forgiveness is unconditional; even if the other person doesn’t ask for it, we should always forgive.
• Because real forgiveness is intentional; even if the other person doesn’t deserve it, we make a conscious and humble choice to release any resentment we have against them.
• Because real forgiveness is tough; forgiving small stuff is easy, but it gets real when the offense is serious.

Each time I struggle with forgiveness, I get inspired by what happened on the cross.

Jesus is the greatest example of forgiveness in human history:

• They were killing Jesus unfairly.
• They did not deserve forgiveness.
• They were not asking for forgiveness.

What Works For Me: My Forgiving Formula

Eventually, you’ll also need forgiveness, and you cannot receive what you’re not willing to give. It’s a two-way street.

Whether you’re forgiving or asking for forgiveness, your best friend is humility.

When your ego and pride get in the way, ask God to take them away; otherwise, each time you try to do this on your own, most likely you’ll fail.

When asking for forgiveness, even if you say ”I’m sorry”, it will never work if you don’t actually mean it. You need true repentance.

You might think that forgiving the other person doesn’t make sense because they don’t deserve it.

That’s why you need empathy and understanding. There are no conditions or requirements; you must offer unconditional grace.

When asking for forgiveness ⇒ Humility + Repentance

When giving forgiveness ⇒ Humility + Unconditional Grace

But… They Deserve to Suffer

Have you ever felt the need to pay someone back for what they’ve done to you?

Well, that’s not your job.

Leave it to God.

He will do a much better job than you ever could.

So… What Do I Do Now?

Is there anyone you need to call today and tell them you’re truly sorry about what happened?

Is it time to let go of that resentment you’ve felt for years?

Is there someone you need to forgive? Or is there someone you need to ask for forgiveness?

Avoid living a miserable and angry life.

Avoid becoming bitter,

Aim getting better.

Stay humble,

Love,

Host of How I Met God Podcast🎙️ Let's connect on Twitter and Instagram.

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